The novel Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson is narrated by the main character, Lia Overbrook. She is an 18-year-old girl, a senior in high school, and has been anorexic since middle school, when she made a bet with her best friend Cassie over who could become the skinniest girl in the school. As the years went on, Cassie and Lia both strengthened and hurt one another by this wager. The wager and the secret of their eating disorders kept them close and allowed them to confide in one another. At the same time, they were supporting each other's self-destruction.
Lia's physical appearance is slight, and very, very skinny. For most of the novel, she weighs less than 100 pounds. As a result of her lack of body fat, she is constantly cold, bundling up in lots of layers and bulky clothing. These clothes serve the dual purpose of hiding how much weight she's lost from her family (who are constantly worried about her and urging her to seek help) and keep her body warm.
To most readers who have wanted to be slimmer, Lia's wardrobe seems odd. Why lose all that weight if not to show off your body? The answer to that question gets at some more of Lia's psyche. For one thing, Lia does not see herself as thin. Even when she can count her ribs, she remains disgusted by her body, imagining globs of fat clinging to her body, picturing herself as far larger than she is. Secondly, her physical appearance is only a small part of why she is anorexic. Most of the disease is a psychological problem.
According to WebMD,
"Certain needs, fears, family dynamics, and ways of communicating, thinking, and feeling put a person at greater risk of developing an eating disorder such as anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating. Some of these include:
- Low self-esteem.
- Difficulty communicating negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, or fear.
- Difficulty dealing with conflict.
- A need to please others.
- Perfectionism or always striving to be the best at whatever he or she does.
- A need to be in control.
- A need for attention.
- Troubled relationship with parents (although it may seem that the relationship is close).
- Problems separating from or being independent of the family.
- High expectations from family.
- Fear or ambivalence about growing up or developing sexually—including changes to the body during puberty.
- Struggles or fears with demands to be more independent and self-sufficient.
- Problems with identity—not certain of who he or she is or where he or she is going in life.
However irrational, an eating disorder brings a sense of identity, achievement, and power to certain people who have these personality traits."
Several of these traits fit with Lia. Because her eating disorder develops after her parents' divorce, it could be seen as what she does to cope with the emotional confusion and pain of her family breaking up. While her family life and her parents' choices are out of her power, her eating is something she can control completely. In addition, she is able to keep her parents' love and attention on her due to the disorder, something that many children of divorced parents fear losing.
Readers can also clearly see the perfectionist in Lia when she talks about her body and anorexia. While coming up with her next goal weight, she says, "This body has a different metabolism. This body hates dragging around the chains they wrap around it. Proof? At 099.00 I think clearer, look better, feel stronger. When I reach the next goal, it will be all that, and more" (p. 52). "099.00" doesn't represent a certain way of looking for Lia—it's a goal that promises much, much more. She is absolutely success-driven and goal-oriented—excellent traits that are focused on one of the worst activities imaginable.
Lia also reveals through her narration how much of her sense of worth is tied up in staying thin. It isn't just about looking good—it's about being good, for her. The mantra that runs through her head demonstrates this: "stupid/ugly/stupid/bitch/stupid/fat/stupid/baby/stupid/loser/stupid/lost." Lia doesn't just hate her body—she hates everything about herself. Striving to be thin is one way to combat that self-hatred.
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