You really haven't done too badly. Some of your interpretations are spot on. Here are a few other ideas you could use. I have copied the text again.
His ordinary voice sounded like a whisper after the harsh note of the conch. He laid the conch against his lips, took a deep breath and blew once more. The note boomed again: and then at his firmer pressure, the note, fluking up an octave, became a strident blare more penetrating than before. Piggy was shouting something, his face pleased, his glasses flashing. The birds cried, small animals scuttered. Ralph's breath failed; the note dropped the octave, became a low wubber, was a rush of air.
Throughout this passage, Orwell provides us with a summary of what is to happen on the island. Some of the words and phrases are quite portentous and suggest that the boys' arrival spell trouble ahead.
The word 'ordinary' suggests Ralph's normalcy. He is not someone with any special gifts or talents, just an ordinary schoolboy caught in an extraordinary situation. Furthermore, the contrast between Ralph's voice and the sound of the conch indicates that the conch has greater command than Ralph, an indication that the conch wields greater power than he.
The conch's sound is 'harsh' just as one would expect the voice of someone in command should be. This is so in the rest of the novel as well. Ralph eventually loses control over the boys, whilst the conch retains most of its power. It is only when it is shattered, that it loses its authority. The use of 'whisper' also emphasizes this fact - Ralph's voice is later hardly heard since most of the boys do not listen to him.
One could suggest, furthermore, that the fact that Ralph 'blew once more' is symbolic of his repeated attempts in future, to speak to the boys and restore order. The fact that Ralph 'tried harder' also predicts that he will have to work repeatedly harder to get the boys to cooperate, to such an extent that he is deemed to be nagging, and his voice, just as the conch, becomes 'a strident blare' which is a jarring, irritating noise. Piggy is 'shouting something' proposes that his voice too, will be deemed worthless and undefinable. The boys will not find meaning in what he says.
The reference to Piggy's 'glasses flashing' is symbolic of Piggy's intellectual ability. He is brimful with ideas and rationality. It is he who wants logic and rules to govern the boys' actions. The reference also suggests the important role his glasses will play later. The fact that 'the birds cried, small animals scuttered' informs us of how the boys' arrival has disturbed the tranquility of the island. This further emphasizes the destruction of the natural order. The animals are not safe when humans invade their environment. As it is, the island is later almost completely destroyed by the boys when their fire runs rampant.
The last sentence is significant in that it accentuates Ralph's complete loss of power and control. He later is helpless and practically hopeless for he becomes the enemy, hunted by Jack and his savages, as if he were an animal.
I hope this helps.
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