I would recommend you drop the first word in the first sentence. There is no need to start with the word yes. This makes it sound like you are having a conversation with somebody. Make the second sentence into a sentence. You have written the second sentence as a phrase. I would reword the second sentence by indicating the industrial revolution can lead to imperialism. Then give examples of countries that were imperialistic and experienced...
I would recommend you drop the first word in the first sentence. There is no need to start with the word yes. This makes it sound like you are having a conversation with somebody. Make the second sentence into a sentence. You have written the second sentence as a phrase. I would reword the second sentence by indicating the industrial revolution can lead to imperialism. Then give examples of countries that were imperialistic and experienced the industrial revolution. The United States and Britain could be used as examples. Explain that these countries needed raw materials, and they could get them more cheaply if they had colonies than if they had to buy them from other countries. Also, explain that the colonies provided a place where they could sell the products made by their factories. I would give examples of places each country colonized to support why they wanted colonies. For example, Great Britain had the American colonies while the United States had the Philippines, Guam, and Puerto Rico. From there, I would explain that imperialistic countries need colonies so the military, especially the navy, would have a place to resupply and refuel their ships. Without colonies, it would be much more difficult to protect the international trade because the navy needs ports where they can dock their ships. I would then conclude with a statement that there is a connection between imperialism and industrialization.
I hope these ideas help you rewrite your answer in a smooth flowing response.
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